Detroit: Yeah, But... and why I'm so tired

Two other people were also couchsurfing at the Goldengate Restoration Project. They were around my age, early twenties, lived in DC. And I can't stop thinking about what one of them said the first night we met.

 

I asked her what she thought about the AMC (she hadn't been yet) and she responded "The AMC is cool, but it's problematic."
Not Detroit enough.
Only a certain kind of person comes.


And it made my heart sink. Like sink. Suddenly I was barely breathing to stave off the collapse. I wanted to cry but my face was so moist from humidity that it felt superfluous.




Will it ever be enough? Everything is too narrow, too broad, too radical, too reformist. I don't want to discount these problems, in fact I want to live inside them, every damn day. But shit. When do we get to sink deep into our trying; sigh and say "we're doing our best" and not mean it as a cop-out? Cause let's be real - that's all we've ever been doing and if we can't celebrate it right now then when the hell do we get to celebrate at all?

Yea yea yea we're always pushing, but that isn't the same thing as not being there yet.

Detroit: Squatting like it ain't no thang

I showed up at the spot I would be couchsurfing at for the rest of the AMC.
It was already dark and it was far out there. I didn't know anything about where I was going, except for that a few Detroiters said various "mmmmmm..." sounds when I told them where I was staying. Driving up (thanks person who so kindly gave me a ride so I wouldn't have to wait 2 hours for a bus!) we passed one and another and again burned out houses. I had already google-mapped the spot, so I knew what to expect. Right?

 

 Turns out my couchsurfing host lived in a community of 9 (NINE!) squatted houses and lots, all on the same block of Detroit. Say whhhaaaaa? Like it ain't no thang. Most of these houses were off-grid. Ok, lots of squats are off-grid cause they haven't gotten the electric company to turn their juice on. But in this case they were taking the opportunity to install rainwater catchment systems and build cobb ovens. Yeah, there were chickens. And that sad looking house I'd seen on googlemaps? 

It's been transformed into a free bike shop for kids called Red Planet Bikes. Running on the regular, teaching workshops and giving away tons of bikes. For freez.

 

That night I fell asleep in the attic of the first unlocked city house I've stayed in in years. 

And that was what hit me the hardest about this space - people were out on the stoops, in the street, constantly talking and sharing food, ideas, lighters. The street was poppin, and this in the middle of blocks of burned-out depression. 

The amazingly sparkly room I stayed in

I have hesitations with squatting - who's doing it? Isn't there already a word for middle class white people moving into a community of color without adding economically to the people who already live there - gentrification? (total disclosure - i didn't think of that zinger, it was read somewhere else on the ethersphere). But there seemed to be real community involvement, many of the people involved had lived around there all their lives. I wasn't there for long enough to really understand the complicated dynamics that usually go along with squatting, but I know that the block felt really welcoming. 

They used glass bottle and cobb walls to fix burnt out city walls! Notice the light coming in through the bottles.

The history of the place is even more wacky.  The ecovillage got started as a part of Tumbleweed University, which is now wrapped up in the Goldengate Restoration Project. Basically, Occupy Detroit took all that momentum and all that heady theory and did what so many occupations talked about - squatted the hell out of foreclosed houses. So now this is also the Occupy Detroit epi-center.

Making a front yard garden in some serious sun

 Interestingly, almost no one around here knew what the Allied Media Conference was. I suppose Detroit ain't tiny, but still, with folks coming from around the world, you'd think they'd manage to take a trip around town and see if anyone who doesn't happen to work for a not-for-profit might be interest.

This place was such a delicious balm from the incessant concept crazy of the AMC that I was choking on. I do think that I'm actually over-reacting to the AMC and it was way more skills based than most conferences, but my own experience was surprisingly frustrating. Point is, here I was on accident, just looking for a couch to stay on, and I tumbled into the welcoming lab of a block of squatting community building self-sufficient DO-ers.

Maybe all I want to do is hang out with plants. 

Allied Media Conference Thoughts: Pragmatism, Buzzwords and Metaphor

note: this advice and rant is so deeply happening because, of all people, i live in abstract theory land and this is my struggle on the regular. i've noticed that my advice is generally stuff i'm trying to believe in myself.





Skills vs. Discussions. Workshops need to be labelled clearly skillshare, discussion, lecture, or performance. Have you ever gone to a workshop expecting some skills and it turns out everyone's sitting in circles theorizing about what the word "skill" means? Point is I have learned something important about myself at the Allied Media Conference.

I have no patience for metaphor.

I have no patience for theory. 

I want to learn what you tried yesterday, how it went, and what you are going to try today.

Display from the Maine-based Beehive Collective

The AMC is a conference full of Radical Activists (note the capitals). A lot of these folks know the language and the grammars of this community. I swear if I hear another buzzzz word.... liberation. oppression. I don't even know what liberation means! I don't even know what oppression means! Don't just drop that as though you're saying something when in fact you're saying everything/nothing!






Mind you I drop that shit like an exhale. I'm all "feminism"-this and "liberatory community practices"-that. Cause I'll admit it - it's useful. I need these words so I don't have to talk all day just to explain the first sentence I said when I woke up in the morning. But nah, nah, nah, ENOUGH.






Being in the high-density-buzz-world of the AMC has convinced me that this language is dangerous. We can talk in circles all day about the word accountability, but if I still have no idea what tactic you tried out last time there was an assault in your community, if I have no idea what that conversation looked like and what steps were taken, then what have I learned?
I've learned that a lot of people think accountability is important.
Cool. Check. 




Of course education is extremely important, but let's be conscious of our audiences and our opportunities to move into action-mode. DOING is more important than theoretically-doing-but-it's-cool-cause-I-have-a-list-of-references-I-can-google-later.







Have our brains been so academicized, so made to privilege intellect, that that is the inherent mode in which we operate? We slip unblinkingly into analysis, criticism. & yes, that is essential. But at a certain point it rings hollow. What are we talking about? Are we too afraid of making mistakes? of being remembered negatively? of speaking for others? So we stick to abstraction. Better that than allow the vulnerability of giving a single detail. Our vocabularies are so bulked up, our brains so used to filling out multiple choice surveys, that all description,  all experience, all detail have fallen to the wayside. I think it also has to do with not trusting that our experiences are truly worthwhile and relevant.




This happened so much in femsex. Big ideas, suggesting at experiences, got traded around like abstract playing cards. We sat inside a flurry of hints forming clouds of people that I maybe knew something about. It took months and one much-needed conversation about masturbation to put some spine into our concept clouds. Some intimacy. Yes darling, imagine for a moment that you're truly around friends. Tell them what happened. They'll try to understand. You don't have to convince the room that your head is in the right place or that you read the right zine.


Pragmatism. I'm taking about what makes us do things.
How we spend our minute of our days is not besides the point. Are you trying to guess at how best to change the world? Or are you trying shit out on the daily to see what sticks?

Detroit Day 3, AMC Day 2. Or was it 1.5?

Have you ever been to a conference? 

 What were your first thought when you arrived?

How did you stay grounded?

Reflections from Day 2 in Detroit: Parkour is Possible, Couchsurfing Rulez, AMC = AMCrazy

Day 2 in Detroit.

Again, I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sheer newness of this all. I arrived at the AMC to get my name tag and everyone there looked like someone I'd like to meet, organize, or make out with. Generally they were triple threats.

So of course I ran away, and now I'm in a cafe a couple of blocks away, drinking (overpriced) coffee and dog-earring every single page of the AMC Program Guide. Should I pick one track and stick with it, doing deep with a few key ideas ? Should I take some of everything, pushing myself to try some things that don't even look any good?

But reeeeeewiiiiiind, last night I couch surfed for the first time! Let's talk about that, that feels more stable than the rest of the unknowns of my life. Wow, couch surfing is the most stable thing in my life right now. Interesting.

So, last night my awesome couch surfing host Kris brought me to hang out with her friends in Ann Arbor. We stopped along the way to do some parkour. That's right! We were having a conversations in which I was mourning how on the one hand parkour is crazy cool because it reclaims space, but on the other hand it is so competitive and exclusive because it's all about badass tricks. Kris was like "Nahuh! Everyone starts off small! You only see the very best on youtube, but everyone started vaulting over low walls." So we did. At the first gas station we passed. I even scraped my knee!




When we had been sufficiently pummeled by the concrete we got back in the car and she lay the rest of her philosophy on me. My hang-ups about park our, she said, are exactly what keeps most people from trying new things. People don't want to try karate cause they're not already black belts. They won't touch snowboard cause they might fall. Kris had snowboarded about 3 times when she decided to go snowboarding at the fancy Italian slope in the Alps. Did she notice that everyone else was wealthy as hell and had grown up with all the fancy ski lessons one could buy? Sure, but she didn't care. She was there and she wasn't going to let anything sep her from getting hers.




In her opinion, exclusivity exists only in your mind, not in institutions themselves. I disagree on some levels - I don't think that the onus of inclusivity should fall solely on less privileged/experienced/fit people. But her outlook is a very inspiring and useful personal philosophy that I'm going to return to again and again. Who's fancy hors d'oeuvres at a black tie event we weren't invited to? OUR fancy hors d'oeuvres at a black tie event we weren't invited to!







Last thoughts -  the family in Ann Arbor we were visiting - really big, really bonded, really loving, really involved with cool social justice projects, real conscious of privilege, really Christian. These things are all connected. The community they had, their values and their drive all grew from their religious structures, more or less. I'm confused. Can we create this without god?

my first (of probably many)  Parkour injury

for more pics of detroit, visit my flickr
more conversation about the AMC to come. that shit was cray.