This is the first in a
series of articles about The Practice of Decision-Making –
situating the experience of decision-making in the context of healing.
situating the experience of decision-making in the context of healing.
Decision making. OH. There is that feeling in my solar
plexus – tight, full, dense. My shoulders squeeze up along my back in hopes
that if they could just cover my ears then I wouldn't hear all the voices of
doubt in my head.
My heart races to evade the claws of commitment, each choice
threatening to define and confine the rest of my young limitless (until now)
life.
I’m standing still but I’m panting from the loops my brain
dances.
Decision making. That shit stresses me out.
I’ve noticed that a lot, and by a lot I mean all, of my
friends have had to deal with anxiety around decision-making. I think there is
something generational about this – we do live in an age of endless options and
infinite information, after all. Many folks nowadays are over-educated, over-informed
and over-whelmed by the possibilities of existence. If this is going to be a
theme then we better start developing our decision-making skills accordingly. And
let’s not settle for simply reducing anxiety. Let’s actively thrive. I mean, we
might as well while we’re alive and whatnot.
I recently faced a deep ‘ol decision making experience with
all the trappings of a Big Decision – time commitment, monetary commitment,
potential commitment to career and life path. Dear Ones, I came through, and
I’m damn proud of my decision. Not because I think my choice is so awesome,
which it is, but because I feel so empowered through my process of
decision-making. I got to know myself better, especially the parts I usually
try avoid. Through this experience I’ve singled out some tools and approaches
to decision-making. I hope they will help others find healing and clarity as
they navigate their own juicy, possibility-filled lives. This advice is mostly
geared towards life-path style decisions – where to live, where to work, where
to learn, etc. If the tactics I mention don’t resonate with you, great. The
main point is that we deserve to feel empowered and inspired by our
decision-making processes, and we can be. Figure out what works for you; then
tell me about it.
Decision-Making as a Practice
People have yoga practices and meditation practices. I’d
like to talk about developing a decision-making practice. That was the big
switcheroo for me this time around – as I realized that a big decision was going
down, I took a deep breath and some wiser voice deep down inside reminded me
that this was just one more opportunity for self-healing. The narrative went
something like this –
“Well A-Ro, we didn’t see this one
coming, but for today’s self-healing exploration, we will be
investigating how
we deal with decision making.”
Cute. Don’t get blindsided by the decision on hand. It might
appear that the biggest deal in your life is figuring out the right way to
turn, but that’s a decoy. The biggest deal in your life is your life, and this
moment is an opportunity to get intimate with your own unique anatomy of big-decision-navigation.
Say “yes” to this learning, let it be valuable in and of itself, and the
immense pressure on your decision will lift and all that ensues will be caste
in the light of self-love and healing.
So now we have two co-developing processes – the process of
the decision itself and the meta-process of you, beautiful holy and complex
creature that you are, making that decision. The tools I am offering address
both processes simultaneously. In other words, the very way that we go about
making decisions should be self-reflective and healing, while supporting
clarity and good, solid decisions. One hand washes the other, eh? But actually.
It’s true. You will make a better decision through holding a healing lens over
the process. This is pretty standard knowledge. Has anyone ever told you to
“just follow your heart?” Yeah, easier said than done. It’s not like you can knock
on your chest and ask if anyone’s home. Listening to our hearts means radical
self-acceptance - accepting our truths, our unspeakables, our vulnerability. It
requires grounding and meditation, even if that is a 2-second meditation. When someone
tells you to follow your heart, they are asking you to engage in a self-healing
practice. They intuitively know that our healthiest wisest selves speak from
that still place, and that’s the self we’d like to enlist in decision-making.
Please. Thank you.
So then what?
The next few posts will go into a handful of aspects I’m currently
finding important for decision-making. I have too much to say for one post.
Some are tools and some are perspectives to hold on to throughout the process.
The whole practice is always spiraling back, reflecting on itself. So I’m not
posting in order of “steps,” but rather in the order of my own natural flow of
awareness through the process. Mix and match, jump in and out, develop your own
story. Here’s what’s up in the posts to come:
Yo’ Body – Centering and re-centering the body as
home-base throughout the Decision-Making Practice.
Writing Is So Awesome - Game-Plans and Personal Reflections.
Utilizing the written word to articulate our underlying needs, dive into the
bigger truth of the situation, and alleviate stress.
Play All Day – How approaching your Decision-Making
Practice with an attitude and expectation of playfulness transforms the
experience, motivating you and honoring your dignity.
I’m looking forward to hearing others’ experiences of
decision-making and the approaches that have helped them. Please share! We’ve
got lots of big ol’ decisions coming up on in the world, what with the need to
protect the planet and liberate the majority of people from massive marginalization
and oppression. Here’s to walking our truth with every step and loving the crap
out of ourselves. May this practice and all practices serve all beings,
sentient and not, through space and time. Bless it and be it. MMmmmmm.
